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강태영

I agree about College students encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them. Because every students has different dream even they are same major and college is not job school.

First, Everyone have different type of dream job major can’t satisfy all of them. For example, In my major many students want to become a DataAnalyist. But some of students wants to become a DataScientist, DataEngineer, Professor and etc. That mean every students need different abillites to get their dream job. DataAnalyist need to learn statistic analysis more than programing. But DataScientis need to learn statistic analysis same as prgraming and data structures. But in my major programing subject is small. So I double majored in ComputerScience and learn about programming.

Second, College isn’t job school. Many of job can be trained in another way except professional job’s like doctor, scientists and etc. If students want to become professional job, than College became a job school. But Many of job don’t need professional knowledge. For example, Engineer may also need physical and mechanical knowledge, but practical experience is more important.

Because job is variety even though their field is same and college’s knowledge is not important in real field, I agree about College students learn about their interest.

강태영 문법 수정

I agree that college students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them. Because every student has a different dream, even if they are in the in the same major, and college is not a job school.

First, everyone has a different type of dream job major that can’t satisfy all of them. For example, in my major, many students want to become data analysts. But some of the students want to become data scientists, data engineers, professors, etc. That means every student needs different abilities to get their dream job. Data analysts need to learn statistic analysis more than programming. But data scientists need to learn statistics analysis, as well as programming and data structures. But in my major programming subject, it is small. So I double majored in computer science and learned about programming.

Second, college isn’t job school. Many jobs can be trained in another way, except professional jobs like doctors, scientists, etc. If students want to become professionals, then college becomes a job school. But many jobs don’t require professional knowledge. For example, engineers may also need physical and mechanical knowledge, but practical experience is more important.

Because jobs are varied even though their fields are the same and college’s knowledge is not important in the real world, I agree that college students should learn about their interests.

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최전영: 대학에서 학생들이 자신의 관심사와 연관된 과목을 들어야 하는 이유로 대학교가 직업 훈련 학교가 아니라는 점을 강조하며 접근한 방식이 인상깊다. 글의 전체적인 구성이 서론, 본론 2개, 결론 4개 문단으로 갖추어져 있어서 글의 흐름이 잘 보인다는 점이 좋다. 다만, 비문법적인 표현이 다소 있어서 이 부분을 다듬어야 더 좋은 글이 될 수 있을 것으로 보인다. 마지막으로 예시도 일반적인 상황을 가정하는 것보다는 구체적인 사례로 연결될 수 있으면 더 이해하기 쉬운 글이 될 수 있을 것이라고 기대된다.

강태영: 문법적으로 영어 작문은 정말 좋으나, 양 조절을 하여 조금더 많은 이유를 적었으면 좋았을 것 같다.